I sit on the bus, still fairly new to the city, perhaps two months ago now and have my perspective on the bus twisted significantly. A man in his late twenties perhaps, with a tight but not overly short haircut clutching his stomach and garbed in a black leather jacket with zippers solicits the bus attendant, who at the time was not yet adorned in the puffy, blue as blue can be, azure zeppelin of a winter coat just in the same hued silly pants suit, for what turns out to be a plastic bag which he promptly throws up into - a lot. The bus attendant is unfazed by this turn of events and she just goes about her business - which is to stare at the man throwing up for a moment then just kind of gaze up towards the front of the bus. The man is really throwing up a lot but doing so in a very quiet and orderly manner, not spilling a drop. Nobody on the bus seems to notice or really care or even find it odd that this man, who, prior to vomiting, did not appear to be grossly intoxicated, is now spewing his guts into a plastic bag, especially the bus attendant who handed him the bag so nonchalantly it seemed to me that it was a common thing to do - hand out plastic bags to passengers so they can throw up into them. The man finishes throwing up, having filled approximately two-thirds of the plastic bag, twisting it off at the top and holding it with one hand as he seems to collect himself and gets his wits reattached to his brain and gets off at the next stop, bag in hand. I am dumbfounded. Nobody else on the bus seems to notice or care.

An explanation of riches

The Happiest One: Noah*, Why are you always eating all the time?
Me: (Stammering to put an answer that successfully portrays a healthy existence while also explaining the amount of intake into simple English) uh ... well, I ...
The Happiest One: It's because you are so HUGE! (Arms spread wide out over her head)
Me: (Pleased by the incredibly innocent and heartfelt assessment) Yes, because I am huge ... (feeling a surge of incredibly fat man turned just fat man pride) I, um, I also work out before work so I am hungry, very hungry when I get to work.
The Happiest One: (Smiles blankly)
Me: (Wishing I had quit while I was ahead)

*The Happiest One pronounces my name "Now"

Instructions

Based in nose-picker's heaven, the operation of Started Out Dumb will focus on a litany of subjects: the bus system, general affairs in the city as viewed from the bus system, specific intricacies of particular bus routes - most notably the 973 line and even some elements of life that are only loosely tied to buses. The writing style may oscillate wildly as attempts to avoid first person may fall by the way side and a haiku or two may slip through the censors. So it begins. Word to the power of 1.3 billion. May the kingdom of heaven shine down upon this blog and bless it.